Scouting Trail with Norton and we found ... Monsters !

It was a good day. Norton, for those of you that don't know him, is
the old man that organizes the caving trips for the Sierra Club, and
occasionally he shows up at a few hashes. We named him "Norton"
from Ed Norton of the Honeymooners, in reference to his numerous
explorations of the Wilkinsburg sewer system, his "playground" when
he was growing up in those locales.

He makes a living as a "recycler", will purchase objects at garage
sales, and sell them at flea markets. He's been doing this for
twenty years, has no antique knowledge, no internet, no conventions,
no appraisers, no college degree. But, instinctively, has a "feel"
for what sells and for what price. So, today, we went to a couple
of garage sales, and he would cherry-pick a few objects from the
morass and layers upon layers of accumulation of someone that is
leaving their home and moving into an assisted-living home. Pay a
few bills for the items purchased, and hopefully, resell them for
just a few bills more. A recycler.

Then, we set out to a flea market near Bridgeville. There, he went
to see an old aquaintance, to whom he offered to sell some things
that only he could see and only he would be interested. It was a
box of videotapes of homo sex that he found on the curb down by the
street where he lives. Usually, he would sell any curb find at his
flea market stand, but this material, no, he wouldn't sell. So, he
made a person-to-person business visit, and he knew exactly who
would be interested. The potential buyer was indeed interested, and
the box with these tapes stayed with him.

By the flea market aisles, we looked at some old vintage stuff. He
would tell me what would sell and what would not sell. His "feel"
for prices comes mostly from recognizing items that he knows he has, asking for the price, and then, when it is he selling the same item, he has a better idea on what to ask.

Next, we set out for our "real" activity we set out to do this day:
urban caving. We targeted a few culverts to explore, and possibly
to be used for future hashes. We parked at a baseball field lot,
walked by the edge of the woods, and then, disappeared in the thick
greenery, quickly descending in a creek below. Following the creek
bed, we finally found the orefice, turned on the lights, and crawled
in. On the other side, we found still water, ankle deep, and thick
swamp plants. Then, another culvert, this one protected by
a "collection box" [maybe Spermit knows the real terminology], but
it was basically a concrete wall protecting the culvert opening. We
had to climb six feet to an opening above and hang and descend on
the other side, and went into the second culvert. On the other
side, we got to a bigger creek, following which, got us to a huge
culvert, ceiling was 12 feet high. At the end of which, another
culvert. Not bad, not bad.

Before returning to our parking location, we decided to explore some
fields and wooded area on that side of the road. We walked on and
about for about 40 minutes, until we stumbled into a residence, only
to startle the three male residents. One of them was farming a
vegetable garden. They didn't seem pleased to see us, and we
quickly returned to the trail we came from. Some 20 minutes later,
a ATV rider zipping by without helmet, we recognized him as being
one of the three, he was checking us out. We just waved a hand at
him, and he just waved a hand at us. Norton observes how unusual is
to find a house with three guys living together, and one of them is
farming vegetables.

We retrace our steps to the giant culvert, and decide on taking the
most direct route out of the creek, up a very steep wooded slope.
We emerge out of the thick vegetation on a road, with parked cars
and a hotel. We see BMW convertibles, blond women in suburbanite
attire, and a sign, "Welcome to Monster Bash 2007". It's a horror
and sci-fi Monster Bash convention.

I see a guy walking in my direction carrying a vintage set of a
1970's game, Haunted House.I ask him if one has to pay to get
in. He says he can give me his pass. He sees Norton, and gives him
another pass. Nice guy. I hope he has fun with his new
toy.

We go in. There is a Dracula impersonator greeting us. Sellers
abound, selling T-shirt, DVD, autographed movie photos, Planet-of-
the-Apes toy models, masks, face-painting. We attend a couple of
presentations. One guy tells stories of Bela Lugosi, another is the
actor that played "Jaws", the bad guy in the James Bond movie "The
Spy That Loved Me".

We are going around the rooms and aisles and convention rooms with our "sewer" clothes, wet from the knee down. One character that I see often in the sellers portfolio of vintage 1950's movie posters is some kind of swamp mud monster. "That's us", I note.

One of the sellers is selling an entire set of Planet of the Apes miniature model , with the original 1974 cardboard box, all in
pristine condition. He wants $200. The fact pricks Norton's ear,
next time he's scavenging some basement in SqHill on a estate sale,
he'll be looking for those toy sets.

We leave the convention with a full knowledge of the genre, and of
the people that will drive or fly distances and pay hotel rooms to
attend these events. It's a niche market.

The day is still young, and there is room for more culvert
exploration. We have the topo maps for another area, and we park
behind a school/baseball field near Aliquippa. The creek below is a
tough one, full of jaggers, PI, and downed trees. It is not a fun
choice. We finally arrive at the culvert, get to the other side,
conjunction with another creek, upstream that to a bigger culvert,
and then, a side stream and culvert back to the side where we
parked.

Walking upstream a creek in the approximate direction of our
vehicle, we are greeted by a barking dog that rushes to us, followed
by his owner, who sentences us with "Do you know you are in private
property?" no, we didn't [true]. He said he has signs. We say we
didn't see any [true]. "I have 200 posted signs, so don't give me
that bulls--t, so get out of my property", and he walks away. We
quickly cued the compass to get us back to the baseball field, and
we were out of there. Beaver County, you are not our friend.

Well, driving back to pgh, to sum out this day and scouting mission,
seven culverts, a free pass to a horror convention, a personal sales
call to a gay man, getting chewed up by a landowner, and seeing
people salivate to a $200 toy set made in 1974 showing a bunch of
miniature models of primate-looking humanoids, one of them
named "Cornelius".

It was a good day.

Monster Bash guests

Monster culverts

Aliquippa culverts

---
Highlights of the Monster Bash:

9:30PM - OUTDOOR MOVIE: THE WOLF MAN! Drive-in style. We will show the film on the lawn out back by the woods. Bring some "Off bug repellent, " a blanket and your portable FM radio. We'll broadcast the audio on an FM frequency. Introduced by Dee Ankers-Denning, daughter of THE WOLF MAN's heroine Evelyn Ankers! Special thanks to Drive-In historian Mark Bialek and projectionist Geoffrey Curtis for making this happen. And, make sure to check out Mark's Drive-In Web areas at www.driveintheatre.org!

8:00AM - MONSTER BASH MASS. Father Mike (yes, a real priest from Ohio) performs a mass for Bash attendees that can't make it out to fimd a church. All denominations are welcome. How often do you find a priest that's a big Bela Lugosi fan?! Perhaps....something VERY special this year too - IT'S A WEDDING MASS! Author Lenonard Kohl and his beautiful bride Dana!

orienteering board game

the board game

Green Ridge Rogaine

On saturday, the SVO (Susquehanna Orienteering Club), in conjunction with Garrett College of Adventure Sports, organized a long-range orienteering event called Rogaine. Sherpes, Hung Like This, and Just Dave, formed a team and named themselves "Three Guys, Three Rivers", since we were all from the Pittsburgh area. Sherpes had already done a rogaine the year before, in Allegany State Forest in New York, although he only did the six-hour event. Just Dave did the Night-O and the Boyce Park O-meet organized by WPOC, the Western Pennsylvania Orienteering Club. Hung Like This runs with the Hash House Harriers. On friday afternoon, we drove for three hours to the Green Ridge State Forest, located 20 miles east of Cumberland, Maryland. After pitching tent, eating a pasta dinner that was cooked at 4 PM, and it was still warm in its pot, and listening to the mandatory 8:30 meeting, we then retreated to the dining building and talked strategy. We were given a couple of topo maps that had trails on it that were not on the orienteering maps given to us, and with a red pen, we marked those trails on our maps. The dining hall closed at 10 PM, and we finished the strategizing on a picnic table outside. Then it was bed time. The background noise of the adjacent I-68 highway was present all night. But we got our good sleep. At 5:20, we rushed out, quickly prepared ourselves, and at 5:40 we got our safety briefing. Five minutes later, the rogaine was officially started. We weren't quite ready, so we walked back to our car, picked up the compasses and whistles, and set out on our "intent" itinerary. Just dave had a camelback with some munchies and medical tape and few other accessories, Hung Like This had a water bottle belt and a water filter (in case if we needed to get water from streams), Sherpes had a water bottle belt. We all had running shoes, long pants, and short-sleeve shirt. Temperature was not going to exceed 75, not oppressive has the day before. Leaves were wet from the rain of the day before.
From past experience with Score courses, we decided to leave the easy ones near base camp to the final 30 minutes. Since we asked if walking on the interstate was not against the rules, we planned to reach the north-east corner of the map where there were several high-value controls, then work pretty much clock-wise.
Our first control to target was 30. Clue sheet indicated a reentrant. We looked for it, but never found it. Climbed the hill back, and tried a different reentrant. No avail. We decided not to waste any more time, we crossed the creek, followed it downstream, reached a forest road, and eventually got us where the control with highest points was located, 71.
Control 71 turned out to be very easy. We found it at 7:30 AM.
Our next control was going to be 67. We wanted to reach the creek below and from there, take a direct climb on a hill to reach the control area, but we did not recognize well which side stream was which, and we ended up walking downstream on numerous bends. Eventually we took a spur to gain high ground, reached the control area, looked for it for a good 20 minutes, and after repeated attack points used, Just Dave found it, to our great relief. Time was 6:10 AM.
From control 67, we went straight down to a road located south. We followed the road, then left it to follow a wash in downstream direction hoping to find a spur nearby. We never found the "stream intersection" and instead followed a very evident spur, then abbandoned, followed the stream upstream, got back to where we were before, but in a hunch, followed a slope next to the creek and found the control. Time was 9:07 AM. Later, talking to other Rogainers, everyone said how hard this was.
With a mix of bushwacking and trail, we found the reentrant where control 51 was. Time was 7:45.
From there, we wanted to reach control 60. Once we were on top of the ridge, we weren't sure if it was where we wanted to be, so we ran portions of trail to verify our location. Eventually, we found 60 on a saddle point, after being tricked into an other saddle point. Time was 10:15 AM.
From there, we quickly descented the hills and reached stream and road below. From the road at a hairpin turn, we quickly found control 55. Time was 10:50 AM.
Our next control was to go pretty much directly to control 50. What happened is that we missed the spur directly north of control 55, and instead followed a spur that was going west. We realized the mistake, talked a bit, one of us wanted to descent down to the creek and climb the hill again, this time going north. We eventually decided instead to continue going west until a road was found, then follow the road to an easy trail leading to the control, which we found quickly at 11:30 AM.
Back on the road, we walked until we found a water stop, marked on the map with a yellow star.
From there we went straight West to find control 42 on a spur. It wasn't that evident, so it took some time. Time was 12:25.
From there, we continued west, gained a road, then followed a wide ATV trail, and easily found 35. Time was 12:45.
Continuing on the ATV trail, we spent an excessive amount of time trying to find 45. Eventually, we gave up, and decided to continue on the ATV trail to a side trail leading to a reentrant near the control. This trail was our "catching feature". We finally found it. Time was 1:30 PM.
Continuing on the wide ATV trail, we met a family of five that said they could not find 61 and 66. We started looking for 61, and after three passes, it was finally found. What happened is that the stream that we followed upstream actually has a stream intersection, and the spur was between the two streams. Time was 2:20 PM.
Control 66 was incredibly easy. We found it in 10 seconds after leaving the trail.
From there we bushwacked to a stream below and followed a trail until we could recognize two side streams coming from SE, and thus identify the spur between the two. Found it at 3:20 PM.
From there, we climbed a hill towards control 41. From a road "Y" intersection, we got our bearings, and walked downhill looking for a spur. We found many, but no control. Then, after criss-crossing numerous times the terrain, had a hunch, followed a reentrant downhill, and from down below, saw an obviously identifiable spur, and after climbing it, saw the glow of white and orange decal. This was a tough one. Time was 4:05 PM.
At this point, we started organizing our On-In. To finish the 12-hour rogaine, we had to be at base camp before 5:45 PM, with penalty of 10 points per minute late. Back on the road, and for a long straight line, we then left it and walked downhill in the dry seasonal stream (clue has it marked as reentrant)looking for control 31 and found without problems. Time was 4:45 PM.
From there, we walked/jogged on the road, towards base camp. In our intentions, we wanted to get control 25 from the horse-shoe turn, and then back to the road to camp, but we were out of time. We easily bagged controls 11 and 10 on the way. We arrived at the finish line at 5:31 PM.
Bananas, oranges, cookies were devoured, other rogainers slumped on the grass unable to stand or move. The SVO folks quickly checked the control cards and computed to score totals. Among the six-hour participants, the highest score was in the high 300's. Among the mixed gender teams doing the 12-hour event, the highest score was in the 500's. Among the men doing the 12-hour team, third place had 703 points, second had 720, and first had 817. The team "3 guys, 3 rivers", had the top score.
We talked a bit with the other rogainers, and discussed which controls were the hardest. Many said that 67 and 65 absorbed an hour each, preventing some from having time left to find 71. While we found 71 easily from a trail, many had a hard time finding it coming from 67. Some people found 60 hard to find because of the saddle before another saddle where the control was at. The only control that we attempted and that we did not find was 30. Asking around if anyone found it, nobody could answer because no one attempted it, so it is still a mistery where it actually is.

Using Google Map Pedometer, we routed the itinerary and found to have walked about 31 miles. If we had found the controls immediately and using our intended and more optimal route , we would have walked about 25 miles.

Orienteering in Cleveland - South Cagrin

Too many mistakes.
Got to event relatively late, at 12:45, and got a start time of 1:08, already 8 minutes past the 1:00 cut-off (they start picking up controls at 2:30 PM).
Didn't have enough time to study the map.

Went to 4, very easy and visible.
Had intention of going to 3, but never saw the side stream.
When I was very close to the road with passing cars, I knew I was totally disoriented, and settled to reach 5 up on the bank of the creek, by an easy trail.
Then, targeted 6, clues said outside of the South corner of clearing (btw: the clues also erroneously say southernmost, and also say in a creek environment: should have just said clearing, outside southern corner)
Got very confused, for some reason, was expecting to see the control, and looked at other corners of clearins and rough opens, must have wasted considerable time on this one. The control was about 5 meters from the edge of the clearing.
Then targeted 8, control was about 10 meters from the trail intersection, in the woods.
Targeted 10, and ran south on the big trail. Just before the bridge, went W on a small trail. Should first have crossed the bridge and continued south to 9 and then backtracked and THEN take the small trail up the hill).
On looking for 10, got very confused and believed that the creek where 10 was south of the trail (it was actually north). Eventually went on the other side of the creek, found a trail, and found (accidentally 12). I knew then that I was making too many mistakes.

My route

I checked the sheet and saw that 11 and 7 up north were each worth only 10 points, and that with all the mistakes I was making, I had to sacrifice them and get to the high pointers on the southern edge of the map. So went to 30 (easy), and then bushwacked SE to 29. Clue said bridge, but control was on a tree at about 5 meters from bridge. I spent time looking at all sides of the bridge and under the bridge, and only 20 seconds later, by looking around, saw the control on the tree.
Went for 26, easy find, this one a 30 pointer, don't know why since it was almost on trail.
Then, went for 23, and found a trail that followed a ravine, and then had to climb up a steep slope. Met Bob "Lightning" Boltz here. Saw the clearing and ran to it. Saw the clue, it says "ruins", but there are no ruins as mapped feature. Found it anyway. Then, with some luck bushwacking, found a small trail that let to 25, a forty pointer, and from there, an easy run to 24.
Continuing on that trail going West, at a small driveway clearing that connected the paved road with the trail, I went straight North, targeting 22. Must have gone slightly NW, because I missed 22. Continuing upstream, found myself on a big trail, that was very close to 21.
Up a steep slope from the creek up the maintenance parking lot, paved road, and reached 20.
Then targeted 19. It looked difficult on the map, with very little mapped features to rely on, and instead I got myself straight into it. The control was actually visible from 60 meters away.
Went NE to a trail and then NW towards 18 (wanted to avoid the swamp between 18 and 19). Found 18 easily, but while clue said on the outside northern edge of the pond, the control was actually 6 meters away from the pond.
Met a guy that said he could not find 17, and asked me if I found it. I said I was going there next. Went NE and reached the trail at the point it makes a curve, and then from there went E (I must have actually gone NE). Saw a side creek, realized it was north of the depression with control 17, and so then turned south and started looking on the side of the other creek. Checked and rechecked, bushwacked and bushwacked, but couldn't find it. Decided to give up, heard the passing cars of the road nearby, decided to go to the road, and then saw the control. It was in another group of depressions about 70 meters south of where they were indicated on the map, on the side of a much bigger creek.
Got to the road, decided I had not much time left, and went for 16, a twenty pointer, easy, I think, since it is a creek bend. There is another guy looking for it, and we just don't see it. I must have spent 10 minutes there, every angle, from the road, from the trails, upstream, downstream, maybe hidden by a rootstock, and I just didn't find it [later, talking to other orienteerers, they said it was actually 30 meters West of the bend centered by the map circle].
At this point, I was really almost out of time, and realized I had no time to reach 12 and 10, both thirty pointer controls which I missed and should have gone earlier. So went for 15 and 14, relatively easy trail running finds, got to the finish with 9 minutes spare, and should have gone to try 12 with those 9 minutes + 4 minutes overtime that would have caused a 6 point penalty: with 13 minutes, I could have found 12 and back, getting 24 points.
Later, talking to other orienteerers, we found the clue of 11 to be misleading: "Northernmost" doesn't really apply here.
Bob Bolts got 390 points, Olga got 379, Others got 360 and 350. I got 340.

The south Cagrin reservation is deeply wooded, with nice beech trees. It just had rained earlier, and with the sun out, the was alot of humidity in the air. Running through the leaves got you wet, but it was warm water, and actually pretty invigorating.

Should have followed this route = 510 points

Sherwood Forest geocacher eulogy

Was at an orienteering meet in northeast ohio, and talking with Bob Bolts about geocaching, he told me about this orienteerer-geocacher that died two years earlier, and about this beautiful eulogy.

--
Good morning. I’m here on behalf of the community of geocachers that was so enriched by Eric’s presence during his time with us. I would like to thank Eric’s family and Reverend McGlawn for giving me the opportunity to talk to you all about how much he meant to us.
There are about 50 of us geocachers here today, coming from several states. I thought I’d better explain to Eric’s other friends who all these people are. The game of geocaching is like a high-tech treasure hunt that we play using our parks and forests as the gameboard. Someone hides a container full of goodies, publishes the latitude and longitude coordinates on a website, and others try to find it using a handheld GPS receiver. Then you can take a present from the cache, and leave something else for the next person to find.

Eric discovered geocaching in 2001, and adopted the online handle of "Sherwood Forest." Eric was not so much “Robin Hood” as he was the “Pied Piper.” By helping people learn the game, by hosting and attending picnic events, and by working with the MetroParks, he helped grow our sport and transformed a scattered bunch of technology geeks into a strong community of friends, as shown by their presence here today. Now, there are more than 3,000 geocaches within 100 miles of this spot – many hidden by him, and which will live on in his memory.

Eric brought a spiritual passion to geocaching that I think also demonstrated his relationship with God. I’d like to think he was inspired by these words from the Gospel of Matthew:

“The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.”

Here, Jesus compares the search for God with a search for treasure… and the game of geocaching is about a search for treasure, not only found in little boxes in the woods, but also in the people found along the way. And you know what? God doesn’t hide himself so deep that we can’t find him. He wants for us to search and discover, by joining in games with people such as geocaching. When a geocacher met Eric, it was very easy to see God working through him. SherwoodForest made God a difficulty 1 cache.

Taking a walk in the woods with Eric was a peaceful, quiet experience that many of us had the pleasure to enjoy. One of his friends wrote to me this week about a time when Eric was part of a group of three geocachers who walked silently down a beautiful trail. Finally breaking the silence, Eric said in his best Elmer Fudd voice: “Be vewy, vewy qwiet. I’m hunting Tupperware.” That phrase is now famous among geocachers in Ohio.

Often, Eric would find the geocache before everyone else, and then he would hang back with that half-grin on his face that said “I know where it is,” and watch everyone else search for the hidden cache container. He wrote an internet log in the form of a haiku poem about that:

Round and round they go
Up and down and hither yon
But it’s over there….

Now, the prophet Daniel had different words for this:

"He makes known secrets that are deep and hidden; He knows what is hidden in darkness, and light is all around him."

Eric was an expert at finding hidden things, and I’m not talking just about geocaches. He found the good in people and drew it out of them. If you had a talent for something, he’d encourage you to develop it. If you were a new face at the picnic, he was the person who came up and got to know you, then introduced you around to everyone else. As one of his friends observed this week, Eric was great because he was *always there.*

But now he’s not here! I think so many of us are upset because Eric was taken away from us far too soon. I’m not sure I can say anything to ease that pain. I know that when I heard the news, I needed to go out on a hike where I hollered to God at the top of my lungs from the middle of the woods, asking why this happened, until I noticed that some deer were staring at me with a look on their face that said “this hiker dude is CRAZY.”

I will try to use a geocaching phrase to try to provide some comfort. The phrase is, “It’s not about the numbers,” and it’s used to criticize people who find too many geocaches too quickly, like it’s a contest instead of just a nice way to enjoy God’s great outdoors. Psalm 90 says,

“Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”

So yes, a life was cut short if you measure the days. But it’s not about counting how many days you live, it’s about making your days count… living each one of them to the fullest. It’s not about the numbers. And for Eric, it wasn’t about the number of geocaches and boy, did he live his number of days to the fullest. He was still finding geocaches just four weekends ago.

I would like to ask all the people here today who run around in the woods, taking and leaving meaningless trinkets held in little boxes, to do Eric two favors. The first is to think about numbering our days aright. Psalm 39 provides another helpful reminder to keep our numbers in perspective like Eric did:

"Lord, tell me when the end will come and how long I will live. Let me know how long I have. You have given me only a short life; my lifetime is like nothing to You. Everyone’s life is only a breath. People are like shadows moving about. All their work is for nothing; they collect things but don’t know who will get them. So, Lord, what hope do I have? You are my hope."

The second favor I’d like to ask of you is to keep finding geocaches, starting today. Eric would be really, really upset if you wasted a beautiful fall day like today being sad on his account. How convenient, he set up a geocache that’s a walking tour of Warren. It begins right here at his church. He could have shown us his hometown by beginning at the library or the school or the town hall, but he chose his church. That tells you what was important to him. So please join me after the service to find that geocache and enjoy a nice day outdoors. The name of the geocache is “A Walk Down Millionaire’s Row.” Today we are all millionaires, having been enriched by knowing Eric Sherwood. I look forward to taking that walk with you, and then writing about my story at our website. I know that just this once, Eric won’t mind if we all end our logs by stealing his trademark phrase:

Cache Well, and See You ‘Round the Bend.

the secret emails revealed

... was at a local library and logged into one of their computers to check email, when, voila', I got access into a user's account who must have used that PC earlier.

here is a summary of the "personals":

---
One, I wanted to see if you wanted to do anything this weekend,
either tomorrow or come over for dinner on Saturday?

Second, Vanessa broke her right ankle last week and is looking for
someone to drive her to and from work...and she thought that you
might be interested. She needs someone who can drive a stick shift,
and I told her that I wasn't sure what your schedule would be like,
but I would ask you what you thought. She said that whoever drives
her could keep the car the rest of the day, and she would pay them
$10 for their time. If you might be interested, send her an e-mail,
or I suppose you could talk to her if you want to come get your
check sometime.

I think that was everything. Hope you're having a good week!
I am working till close both tonight and Saturday unfortunately, so
I have to pass on dinner.

Regarding Vanessa, three days a week I have to be downtown by 7:30
am and then I have to be here in Squirrel Hill by 4:30 frequently,
so there is no way I could help her out unfortunately. Hope she
finds someone.

Later,
--
I wonder if there are any Sex Addicts Anonymous meetings around...

I figure it might be a good way to pick up guys.

This idea actually occured to me while I was at work on Sunday. And
it's sad, 'cause for like a split second, I thought it was the best
idea ever. But then I realized there probably aren't any SAA
meetings in the 'burgh.

Just thought I'd share

Dude, there totally is one in Pittsburgh. They even have their own
building.

Sex & Love Addicts Anonymous
5150 Penn Ave
Pittsburgh, PA 15224
(412) 441-0956
There's a Sexaholics Anonymous in the burgh too.

Stuff keeps happening that makes me say "OH MY GOD, I HAVE TO TELL
TANYA THIS." So, I'm going to before I forget....

There is now a Queer Duck movie.
I saw a picture the other day of Bobby Gant and Shane from the L
word hanging out...they're friends.
I was on Sonji's website the other day and she just turned 21, how
did she get so awesome so young? And she has t-shirts now, we
should totally get them and be groupies.
Sarah was talking down to me about Jack Kerouac and later in the
conversation it was revealed she didn't know who Ginsberg was or
even what the Beat Generation was.


Okay, that's it. Finals week can suck my imaginary balls, hope your
faring better than I am. Ha

Peace

A QUEER DUCK MOVIE?!?!? Are you kidding? Okay, I guess you're not, I
just looked it up on imdb. I so have to get my hands on that.

Queer Duck: Well, if you're mixing drinks, I'd like a slow
comfortable screw up against the wall of a bus station in Passaic,
New Jersey.

Queer Duck rocks my world.

Sonji shirts are a good idea. We could drop out of school and follow
her around the country hoping she'll have sex with us. Sounds like a
plan to me.

And you so won that convo with Sarah. It's obvious the only thing
she knew about Kerouac was what pretentious English teachers had to
say about him. She probably still thinks Thoreau and Emerson
were "just friends." Friends my ass, Emerson was so hitting that.
And who doesn't know about the Beat Generation? It's like a part of
history. And right there is the downfall of homeschooling.

Finals suck balls, big fucking hairy balls. This whole week has just
sucked. I lost my debit card and drivers lisence at the beginning of
the week, so I had absolutley no access to my money, sucked. I had
to get an extension on one of my papers. It was only supposed to be
5 pages. It's 12. I had a root canal yesterday. And I have to ask my
dad to cosign on my student loans. I hate asking for money. And,
I've been cracked out on adderall all week. And there's a review of
the past 5 days.

When are you done with all your finals? And when are you leaving to
go back to NY? We should do something in between those two dates w/
Katherine since she's leaving for the islands soon and I'll have the
entire apartment to myself. Yay!
I'm not done with finals until Saturday and then my cousin is coming
down and we're leaving for CNY on Sunday. Maybe, if you and
Katherine are still here that Sunday we could grab breakfast, but
I'm guessing your going to be gone.

I'm sorry things are going so shitty for you. Really in the grand
scheme of things, none of that shit is important. Papers, drivers
licences, debt, at least your not cracked out on, well crack, with a
baby and a court date. Your 19, it's amazing how much your doing.
You have a job, an internship and go to school. Your responsible,
independent and motivated. It's okay to ask your parents for help,
they know you do everything you can, even if they do give you a hard
time. They're your parents, they're suppose to help you. Christ,
Ben called my mom last week and asked if he could charge $500 worth
of bongs to her account so his store could have inventory...and she
said yes. So, compare yourself to my 27 year old brother...your
doing awesome. Your almost done, stay real.

Dr. Phil, er, I mean Jean

Thanks for the pep talk, Phil. I was considering running off to
Mexico and shacking up with someone named Jose. I'm actually in
town until Wednesday, working so I won't miss out on a paycheck. Do
you think you'd be able to do something Saturday or is that when
your cousin is visiting? Katherine leaves Sunday night. So we'd both
be around for breakfast. Actually, I won't be around for breakfast.
I forgot that I'm working 7-3. Hmm, yeah. We're such busy people.
Katherine isn't done with her finals until Friday, but she still has
her packing and errands to do on Saturday and Sunday. She leaves
Sunday evening. I work Saturday and Sunday 7-3. Yeah, I don't think
we'll have time to hang out before break. Oh well.

Did you know Jack Kerouac wrote a large portion of On the Road while
he was high on amphetamines? It was in the wikipedia article about
adderall. Wikipedia. Loves it.
Eh, oh well. If your bored after work you can come over to Squirrel
Hill for a sec. I'm going to be wrapping presents for Planned
Parenthood at Barnes and Nobles from 2-6ish Saturday. Actually some
how I did know that about Kerouac, eh probably read it on wiki too.
Here's a line from my papers that I got a 99% that I just can't get
over, it's about East Lib, god I love the neighborhood:
"Raymond Davis, a long time resident of East Liberty, said the
following about the gentrification process, 'all they trying to do
is get the black man out of East Liberty.'"

and here's my new favorite Queer Duck line, I watch an episode when
I'm tired of analyzing chemicals:
Scene- A funeral of an AID's patient
Openly Gator: "Why him?! Oh god why him?!"
Queer Duck: "Oh, I don't know, maybe because he was a condom hating
intravenous drug user with a hasian boyfriend."
Openly Gator: "It was a rhetorical question."

We'll hang out next semester at the GLCC and all.

Yo, when you back in pgh homes?
Hey,

I'm already back. I came back on the third. We should hang out this
weekend or the following weekend before things get too busy for you.
We can talk about volunteering. And I wanted to give you a copy of
my apartment keys, in case I get locked out. Fucking landlords
charge $50 every time they have to come out to unlock your door for
you. And of course within minutes of Katherine leaving, I locked
myself out for the first time all year. Oh, and I have to give you
your present. In other news, Katherine left me more drugs than you.
So if/when you get low, let me know and I might have some for you.
Fucking wake up and hang out with me now, bitch
--
Dear Aunt Char,

I just wanted to thank you again for the belt and watch. I have
already worn the belt several times, it goes with just about
everything and is a perfect fit. The watch was also great. I'm
sorry
you have to go through the hassle of bringing it back and getting a
replacement. I do, however, look forward to retiring my current
watch, which I have to reset every few minutes, for a more functional
version. (Pleased don't feel rushed to return it though, I've been
getting along quite fine watchless.)

Also, thank you so much for your help updating the information at the
book store. Just so you know, you will probably have refunds and
repurchases on that card, as I have dropped and added classes.
Please call me or email me if you have any questions.

I hope that you were able to have a nice holiday with Sara and
Grandma over. We all wished we could have been down there. I guess it won't
be too long till summer. Hope you'll be able to make it from sunny
Florida a few times this season!

Take care and tell Uncle Jim and Clay I said hello.
--
Thank you for your lovely note. I am glad that the belt worked out -
both Sara and I thought you would like it. We went to Macy's on
Sunday to exchange your watch. Of course, they did not have anymore
of the same style. We selected a silver, chunky chain, oblong face
watch (no date on it). It is casual, but may not be what you want.
Will send along to you and you can decide. Just keep the box and
send back if you don't like it. You may have to have a link(s)
taken out of the strap, which you can usually most easily get done
at one of those mall kiosks.
No problem on the book purchases and returns. May check with you to
see if it matches what you actually have. Hope you will end up in
at least a couple of courses that you will enjoy.
Sara left this morning and called as she was walking to her first
class. Her second class for today was cancelled because the
professor had word from several of the students that they would not
be back from Arizona from the bowl game. I cannot believe that
Florida beat Ohio State!
I am going to be lonesome with Sara gone. I still have her cat.
She is moving into a different place and then leaving Thursday after
class for a long weekend in New Orleans and thought it might be a
little tough on Sarkus (I agree), so we kept the kitty.
Hope that your coats turn up and that you are not freezing! I think
the mail has been really messed up with the holidays and then the
extra closing for Ford's funeral.
Take care, honey.
Love,
Aunt Char
This book may well be more addicting than well hmm sweaters.

Here's a picture of terry dan and DJ.

http://www.thisamericanlife.com/images/shows/293/dan_dj_terry.jpg

I had a nightmare about my teeth falling out because of too many
sweaters.
--
haha, see it's happening to you now. I am a freaking new woman
since I've moved out my winter wardrobe. I've come to realized how
amazing sweaters are again. As for the book, I'm almost done, and
I'm sad I don't want it to end. Number one christmas present
ever!!!! I think I got the best life advice ever from Dan (pg.
148) "...have fun while you're young, sleep around while you're hot,
and live someplace more interesting than the suburbs."
------
That is some good life advice. Speaking of sleeping around...I may
have a study-date with Tim this Friday. I don't know. It's in the
works. Ashley was in my class tonight and she smelled like a
crackhouse. Apparently she has this great new amazing job even
though she was almost kicked out of school. She failed three classes
and they were going to give her a 1.7 GPA. But some nice teacher
helped her out and gave her a D+. Oh and do you want to go to that
place near your apartment where they serve english muffins and other
stuff this Wednesday night? I just decided I'm in the mood for
pancakes.
I'm pumped for your date on Friday. You so need to tap that. Yeah,
I'm down for food this Wednesday. Just tell me what time. I have a
meeting in Oakland at 9 probably wont take more than an hour. Want
to go after that? Or we can go before, whatev.
Let's go after your meeting. Just give me a call when you're done
and you can come over or we can meet at the busstop.
Hey I got confused, my meeting is not until next week. What time do
you want to go, I'm free after 4. Also, when do you want to go to
the GLCC?
NA meetings:
Monday at 8 Squirrel Hill
Saturday 7:30 S.H.
Sat. 8 S.H.
Sunday 3.30 Friendship
Sunday 7 Oakland

Hah, then there are ones in homewood and East Lib...in case we are
feeling particularly gansta on a given day.
--
Food: I have class until 5. How about I just head over after that? I
can give you a call when I'm close to S.H.

GLCC: Here's what my schedule is looking like right now - I'm
working Thurs 3-11, Friday 7-11, Sat & Sun 7-3. Just pick a day and
time and let me know. Maybe Sat or Sun?

Sarah's Party: Are you going?

NA Meeting: Sat night in SH or Sunday night in Oakland. Your pick.
---
Dude, been stalking you for like two days. Please email me or call
when when your up so I can run over quickly.
--
I've been volunteering all weekend, helping out with the ADDYs. I'm
back now. You can come over anytime.
--
Hi Aunt Char,

I just wanted to send you a quick note telling you that I got the new
watch. I absolutely love it! I've worn it everyday since I've
gotten it. It's perfect, thank you, thank you!
Everything is going pretty well down here. Classes aren't too bad
and I enjoy most of them. We finally got some cold weather and snow up
here and it seems to be the only thing people can talk about lately.
It's really not that bad, I think it's nice to finally have some
snow, but I'm afraid I'm in the minority. Hope everything is going well
for you down in Florida. Again, thank you so much for the watch!

Dearest ,
Oh, I am so glad that you liked the watch and are wearing it.
I usually check Pittsburgh, Philadelphia and Syracuse weather in the
newspaper each morning. It looked like you were getting some really
cold temperaturesa and some snow. Hope the walking is not too
tough; recall that the streets were always a bit of a mess.
Good to hear that the courses are okay. Sara seems settled into her
semester, is putting up with the latest house which she moved to so
there was enough space for Damon. They have been down the last
couple of weekends which has been nice. We may go up to Gainesville
this weekend if we can luck into some basketball tickets - otherwise
we have plenty to do here - especially house projects. Jim is off
to Alabama for a couple of days.
Good to hear from you Jean.
Thinking of you.
Love,
Aunt Char

-----
I went to Cathedral this morning to do some MCAT studying, I didn't
see you there, but I know you have your Stats test so maybe you were
studying or maybe I just didn't see you. Anyways, I wanted to tell
you that it is the BEST IDEA EVER! So I doing that from now on,
except for tomorrow because I have a test, but I'll definitely be
there Wednesday morning, so hopefully I'll see you there.

Good luck you your test, I know you'll ace it. =)
I am soooo sorry. Let me explain. When my bf was here for the
weekend, he turned off my alarm clock instead of hitting the "reset" button.
Thus, my alarm clock never went off today and I even missed my earlier class.
AHHHH stupid stupid boys. Anyways, I am really sorry. I will be there tom
even if you just want to study for your exam. Good luck and have a good
night.
I'm so sorry I have not been coming the last two mornings. It has
been taking me like an hour to get from Squirrel Hill to Oakland
because the buses are SOO slow. I have not forgotten, I just need to
get my butt out to the bus stop earlier. Tomorrow, I going try
harder, I promise!
You are the funniest. I will count on seeing you tomorrow b/c we are
geting 39 on the MCAT....wait...maybe 42 so we can top Tiff!!! Have
a good one.
The average 20 year old has sex 90 times within a year...
have you filled your quota?
--
fuck you
---
Haha, I was being funny. I was reading a magazine today. And they
had that fact in there. It kinda of depressed me. I AIM'ed you
today, but you didn't respond. Avoiding me, Jean? I'm trying to get
tickets to this Aaron McGrudor thing tomorrow night. You interested?
It'd be my treat.
How about underwear, socks bras, pj's or those tops you wear. Do
you need any new for your b'day. Remember, think summer, What
summer things do you need. I am waiting to hear from you and I am
surfing the internet looking just dying to click and buy.

Love ya mom

AHHH I just signed up for the MCATs, it was terrifying. I know your
going to be mad but I really don't need anything =(. Alcoholic
beverages? Drinking money? hah, I'll keep thinking I promise.
am so excited for you, You will do GREAT, I know. OK drinking
money, I need one CD request and I'll figure out the rest, any study or school
supplies? Do you need money now due to the mcat sign ups? Let me
know.

Love ya My Brillant Daughter
I forgot to tell you that you received a b'day card for pitt with
helpful hits on drinking and avoiding drinking too much on your 21st
Bday, there is a couple of coupons too, one for a free game of pool.

Speaking of B'days, I need a list, I did pretty good at xmas, just
one mistake(which I am enjoying), How about new Birkenstocks(sp) ?
Please let me know soon since I have to order and mail.

Love you my Brilliant Darling

First, use this email from now on so I can respond. No I don't want
to go, but you could write up a little blurb like they suggest for
the Salmon River News, that'd be special. That's a joke obviously.

Love,
Your Daughter

I am dying here, I can't think of anything good for your b'day,
please isn't there something you have in the back of your mind that
you been thinking about that would make your life easier, or that you would
like to have. It is your 21st b'day, I have to get you something special,
Plese Help me.

Love Ya Mom
I'm bored, you should hang out with me.
--
Ok. I'll call you when I get back to the US, which means probably
Saturday.
ah hah, you weren't ignoring me after all....or perhaps you wanted
to get away from me so badly you fled the country...hmmm, I guess I
hope for the former. Have fun in Spain, I forgot you were going
there. I talk to ya when ya get back.
I just checked my grades...
And I did horribly. This whole just doing school thing is
counterproductive. I'm getting an internship next quarter...and a
second job...and volunteering somewhere. I swear I hate this lady so
much. She's on my shit list. If she died tomorrow I wouldn't even
care. She's lame and stupid and her son has a lisp like your ex-
boyfriend. She's a lameass who's going to burn in a very bad place
for being such a dumbass. God doesn't like dumbasses.

In other news, funny quote on OHINY...

Man #1: Did you hear about Anna Nicole Smith?
Man #2: Yeah, I get news updates on my website. When I read that she
was hospitalized I just kept refreshing the page until, finally, she
was dead.
Man #1: Dude, that's not right.

Yeah, that lady is such a worthless piece. Seriously I would try to
get her fired. I'm sorry your grades weren't as good as you wanted
them to be but as George says "C's get degrees sis." With your pimp
ass resume I wouldn't worry too much about it. In the long run it
doesn't matter if you went to a toastmaster meeting or not. And just
think about Friday, Friday will be fun. I was thinking, should I
invite blonde Sarah or no? I think it would be nice but you don't
want me to I won't. Okay, that's it. "Chin up darling" (that's what
ma says to me when I'm all down and out)
--
Inviting Sarah would be cool. She's a nice gal.
--
It has been FREEZING out lately, I need to pick up that hoodie I left
at your apartment sometime today, you going to be around anytime
tonight. If not can you leave to door unlocked of something? I have
a class from 6-9.
Hmm, I wasn't around last night. Were you able to get in? The door
was wide open. Maintenance guy was repairing it.
--
hahah, yeah i stopped by today. I thought maybe the cops busted
in. Thanks.

Flea Market Find: 1907 Book - "Correct Social Usage"

7 AM, flea market near Pittsburgh, minivan pulls in, unloads his stuff, nobody looks at the books, notice these 100 year old books, pick a couple. One of them is a 1907 book titled "Correct Social Usage".